Have you ever had something happen that you never thought would happen?
While I was in high school I thought I would spend my younger years single, partying, and living in my moms basement until I felt I was stable enough to get my own place. When in reality the God that I had yet to acknowledge had other plans.
My ideas:
God's plans:
Single for a few more years
Married at 18
Partying every night
Church functions and revivals
Living in mom's basement
Hundreds of miles east renting our first house
Minimum wage job (at best)
Studying diesel mechanics and pursuing a call to ministry
You may have noticed the line about "the God I had yet to acknowledge," it's not to say that I didn't hear of Him or that my family was atheist (in fact I attended a Lutheran school for 3-4 years), I simply refused Him, I chose to reject a greater power that was in control in my life.
I felt there was no reason to believe because He couldn't use me, my past was riddled with broken relationships, divorce, and constant moving from place to place. I felt I was in a trap that I could never escape, that my marriage would be just like my parents, ended before it truly began. I feared that I would be just like my father; consumed by alcohol and drugs, going through relationship after relationship, never spending time with my children. I thought I would be like those around me; always broke, never able to keep the few jobs I could find. I felt as though, if I could keep those things under control I would be fine.It was in my nature and is in human nature to be in control. Since getting married, Emily and I have moved away from home, we've both given our lives to Christ {praise God!}, we're in our first real house (shout-out to church friends for letting us rent from them!), we've got an amazing marriage, I am continually blessed to see her growing ever stronger in the faith, our church family couldn't be more supporting, and our family back home gives us endless support.
However, the enemy is still lurking, hiding behind every stumble and every slip, waiting for that one thing that gets to us every time. He is the elephant in the room when we're having an argument, he is that little voice in my head saying "You're going to be just like your father" "This marriage won't last!" "You may as well give up, just stop fighting because YOU'RE. GOING. TO. LOSE!" but here's the thing, there's another voice in my head (i guess you could call it schizophrenia) and it is telling me "You don't need to overcome, for I have overcome the world." "Your past is behind you, I will use it for my glory." "Yes, give it up, give it up to me because IT. IS. FINISHED!" and that voice speaks louder than all other voices in my head, it is more clear than my own thoughts because it is the voice of the one true God. So when the evil one tries whispering sweet nothings in my ear, the savior of the universe is already there overpowering those whispers speaking words of life, strength, and power. When the enemy is trying to steal, kill, and destroy God is already there building defenses against my enemy and giving me a way out.
The old me is done, I no longer try to be in control and suppress my past because I know that the Devil cannot make worse the wounds that my God has already healed, the Devil has no power over a world that God has overcome, so when I start thinking the destroyer is near and wants to take my purpose and steal my calling I stand in faith that he cannot take what he did not give to me.
God is Good
